As a human being, I am often made aware of other peoples opinion of my body.

We ALL are.

It seems it is socially acceptable to make comment on one another's physical fluctuations as though it is our business to do so.

What's worse, is that as human beings, we are programmed to feel flattered, complimented, even delighted at the mention that we may have lost weight.
The idea that we have changed in physical mass since the last time we were in someone's company, should be a gigantically rewarding statement. Weather we have been trying to change that mass or not.
It seems that above appearing healthy, radiant, happy or strong, we place the most importance on the size of a persons body.
Without knowing whether or not the person has been trying to loose weight, we openly comment on their bodies with the intent that this observation will be a welcome one.

You have no business to make comment on my weight.

I have no business to make comment on your weight.

Yet, from young children we are taught that loosing weight is desirable to putting on weight. That slim is better than fat. That telling someone they have lost weight is a compliment, but telling someone they have put on weight is a put down and something we must never say. When really, both are just observations of physical mass.

Why is it that one is so celebrated, whilst the other is taboo?

Making comment on someone else's weight above any other defining feature , lessens the importance of those features.

Is loosing weight more important than appearing happy? Is it more important than exuding confidence? Is the size of a persons body more important than the size of their heart or the knowledge in their brain?

NO!!! Yet we are more inclined to make comment on a persons body than to compliment them on their wisdom, happiness courage or confidence.

The truth is, the majority of the time, we have no idea how one another feels about our bodies, so don't be too quick to assume that a weight loss observation will be a welcome one. For me, hearing that I look like I have lost weight is equal to hearing I have curly hair......It is a physical observation of my appearance that I have neutral feelings about, it may be the truth, however I have no positive nor negative feelings attached to that truth. Weight loss is no great achievement for me, as I am happy and proud of my body regardless of its physical mass.

Next time you go to compliment someone's weight loss, stop to think for a second...is their weight really the best thing about them?

Questions or Comments? Post your feelings below!! Don't forget to SHARE on social media!

Has it ever!! For a few reasons.

Work, ( my day job; I own a hair salon) has been HECTIC, its THAT time of year with my teaching job, preparing for our end of year concert, which means SEWING!! But if I'm completely honest the lack of blog posts is more to do with a little stumble personally, a dip in confidence if you will. Really I just questioned wether all of this was worth it?

The hours and hours of admin I put in updating Instagram and Facebook pages and then finding something to say in my Blog that is worth reading. Making sure I am on top of deleting all the trashy images and videos posted on my wall daily, so that my followers don't have to see things that I'm not about. Reading comments and messages from countless people trying to pull me, and what I stand for down.

It gets tiring.

The other day I noticed a post from a friend of mine (who I thought was a friend anyway!) that was body shaming people for wearing outfits that he believed they did not have the body for. Without malice, without attitude and without anger, I simply posted the words 'Every body is a beautiful body' to which I received a barrage of private messages. At first they started out friendly as he tried to justify his words by serving me backhanded compliments along the lines of;

'you're quite large...BUT, you rock every inch of it...so this wasn't directed at you, sorry if you were offended'

to which I politely replied that I wasn't just commenting as an offended fat person, I was expressing my belief that EVERYONE should be able to express themselves through fashion, in any way they see fit, regardless of their size.

This was a concept this person obviously didn't understand, and further justified his comments to me by explaining that the people he was talking about were in a different social culture to me and that he wasn't referring to 'people like me'....so in his mind, it was OK.

I continued to remain calm, and polite and re-affirmed my stance that I didn't believe there was any difference between the community he was talking about to myself, and that I was just a person, standing up for other people, to which he got really quite angry and proceeded to unload what seemed to be a long time distaste in me and my opinions. Claiming that 'I always think people are having a go at me' and 'I shouldn't comment on things I know nothing about'

I finished the conversation as politely as I had begun it, and then I thought about it...for a LONG time.

I thought about the claims he had made. I thought about the amount of truth within them. I thought about the fact that others may feel the same way about me and my opinions, as he does. I thought about all of that.

Am I just a loud mouthed, over opinionated fatty? Do I just stick my un-warranted nose in to matters I have no idea about? Do I come across as someone who thinks the world is against me?

Probably!! To a lot of people, that is probably EXACTLY what I am!

And then I thought about what that means to me, and how it effects my life.

The truth is....IT DOESN"T

I don't fight fire with fire. I don't get on the offensive at any opportunity I get. I don't feel the need to get into arguments with people who's opinions differ to mine.

I DO practice self love. I DO believe that all bodies are beautiful. I DO encourage others to find confidence and peace within themselves. I DO encourage everyone to STOP judging others.

If this offends you, ask yourself WHY? If this encourages you to question your own belief's and judgement GREAT!!! Questions lead to change, change leads to growth, and lets face it, if we don't grow then we are dead!

So back to the initial question...Is it worth it??

ABSOLUTELY!

No doubt, the constant negativity is tiring. Absolutely, the amount of people that disagree with me is huge. But the amount of people that AGREE with me is growing, and that is so important.

So, I will continue to be me, and believe what I believe, and yes I will voice opinions and challenge beliefs and even ruffle a few feathers from time to time.

I will continue to do that because I owe it to myself, I am WORTH IT. And so are you xx

The next couple of Lyrics Flashbacks are personal. So personal, I've been wondering whether or not to post them at all. They are what they are, and people will read them or they won't, but I have decided to post them to validate the way I was feeling at the time I wrote them.

Sometimes in life, things happen to us that maybe we don't deserve. Some people are inclined to confront those situations head on and stand up for themselves. Others will shrink down and let the situation overtake them. For me, it depends on the situation, but this particular time I wasn't in a place to be able to stand up for myself, for some time I guess it did overtake me, and then a few years later I found the words I needed to gain back my power.

I never did anything with these words, for fear of hurting peoples feelings, or having my words misunderstood, and if I'm honest, that's why I have been conflicted about posting them here. The truth of the situation is though, that these words are my truth. They explain a lot about me as a person, and make sense of why I am the way that I am.

This one never ended up with a title......but was written on the 10th of January 2006, five years after the event they were written about.

Flashback to the 3rd November, 2001. I was 19. This song was another one I tried writing away from my natural style. I'm quite mathematical even though I never particularly liked maths. I like things to be even, and symmetrical, so the most natural form of writing for me is measured rhyming. It's balanced, it's even, and it all wraps up neatly. For this song I was experimenting with intentionally making things NOT rhyme, it was a challenge for me, as even reading back over it now, it doesn't sit as well with me as something that follows a clever rhyme. It's not symmetrical and is uneven, something that aggravates my balanced way of thinking. 

I wrote this song after a particularly lovely experience. To the other people involved, it probably wasn't even a blip on their radar, and they certainly wouldn't remember it now, but to me it was one of those times in life where you realise that you deserve better.


Enjoy.........

This will be the first in a series of posts.

In my former life I used to sing. I used to sing LOUD and wildly, with unashamed passion. Singing was always an incredible release for me, nothing would have me at utter peace more, than turning the stereo up as loud as it would go and sing along with whatever was playing.

Sometimes It was show tunes, and I would imagine myself as Mama Rose in Gypsy or Fantine in Les Miserables. Other times it was Bette Midler. Through my early teens it was Alanis Morriset, and it seemed that every song was written with me in mind, I would wail and moan the lyrics as I wept and poured my heart out to an empty house, but always while I was alone.

 Through my late teens it was Lauryn Hill, I loved how intelligent her lyrics were, and how utterly enveloping her voice is. I remember laying on the hardwood floor of my home, with a speaker pressed against each side of my head, listening to The Fugees self titled album, and then The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill over, and over, and over again, while I sang along, letting all my troubles pour over my vocal chords and out of my mouth.

Through my twenties it was the Divinyls. I would obsess over the way Chrissy Amphlett used her voice to tell a story, even without the lyrics you could understand the story, due to the light and shade and the wail of her voice. I practiced this meticulously, but still only when I was alone.

I had tried many times to sing in public, but it seemed that unless I was in a show and had a character to play, I just couldn't manage to sing to a crowd the way I could sing by myself. With time, age, and experience, I managed to move past whatever blocks were holding me back and sang with various bands all through my twenties and into my thirties.

I LOVED to be a rockstar!!! I loved to sing dirty rock balads of the 1980's, I loved shredding with my bandmates and the reaction of a crowd that loved the music we played together. I developed quite an onstage persona, that allowed me to wail in front of a crowd, the same way I could at home when no one was listening....I LOVED THAT GIRL!!!!

I also began to write lyrics. Writing lyrics for me was good for emptying my heart of worry and putting it away. I would write about lots of things; how I felt about someone, things that had had great impact on my life, things that bothered me, even relationships I had and how I felt about the dynamic of them. Writing lyrics gave me great relief, and it seemed that writing them was enough, I never had the desire for anyone to read them, or to further develop any of them into songs that I could sing. At the time they were private, just like my singing had been when I was young.

I haven't written for a long time, and most recently, I think its because I started this blog and it serves a similar purpose. I have decided however, to dig up some of those old lyrics and share them with you all as part of a series of blog posts, I hope to be able to share the stories behind them and maybe even the people that they are about? We'll see.......

Check back over the next couple of days for my first lyrics post......for now, here is some old footage of me doing what I love most xx

This little baby right here........isn't she just darling???? What's that I hear you say???............she looks very familiar??? Well you'd be absolutely right if you said she looks a little similar to ME!! This little poppet is the beautiful character I had created by the super talented Miss Cherry Martini to be the face of my brand MISS KISS VINTAGE.

And what is Miss Kiss Vintage?? Well the answer to that is growing and changing every day, but right now, Miss Kiss Vintage is an accessories label. We also have offshoots in Cosmetics and Haircare, but I'll start where it all began.....with accessories.


The first ever product to be launched as Miss Kiss Vintage, was our 'Bow-tique'; handmade bow's in an array of different fabric's that can be used to accessorise your hair, pretty up a plain dress, clip on to your shoes to complete an outfit, I've even had gentleman purchase them to wear as fun, festive bow-tie's!!!

The next addition to our collection was our 'Bloom-tique'........clip on accessories, just like the Bow's, but of a floral nature!! whether it be perfect traditional roses, pretty peonies, tropical calla lilly's or a day of the dead flower crown you are after, we have you covered at MKV.......everything is hand made with a sprinkle of love, so you will often find 'one-off's' in our collection....our pieces are as individual as you!!

After the addition of 'Bloom-tique' came my personal favourite.....'Bake-tique'!!! My personal love of baking inspired this collection. Baking is a very messy business, and why shouldn't we look our best while doing what we love?? I hunted down some vintage replica paper patterns from the 40's and 50's and got to work, creating the cutest kitchen accessory sets, including aprons, oven gloves and matching, reversible hair wraps, so that even during the messiest of jobs, one can still look SUPER CUTE!! All 'Bake-tique' accessories are designed and hand made by me, giving me the opportunity to practice on of my other loves.....sewing!!

This brand is something that has just organically grown legs of its own, through hobbies of mine. I have always been more inclined to hand create my own hair accessories, rather than buy them, and after many lovely complements on things I had created just for myself, I decided to create more to sell to others who appreciate hand crafted treasures.

One thing lead to another as it generally does, and eventually, through Miss Kiss Vintage, I have been lucky enough to launch my own line of cosmetics and most recently a line of styling products, that are handmade by me using 100% all natural ingredients!!! Introducing GREASER, and ROCKSTAR........a slick pomade and a messy matte clay to help you create the most individual do for you!!

So that was the long answer..........the short answer is.........ME!!

Miss Kiss Vintage.............quite simply.........is ME!!!!! Another part of the Jessi Leigh puzzle, and another peek into my personal life.

All my MKV products are available for purchase at any of the festivals I trade at, which are always listed in my Gig Guide, and from my brand new Etsy store launching this month........check back for details!!!!!

So it's time to talk about the obvious.............BOOBS.........in fact......HUGE BOOBS!! I have em, that's NO secret, but I know that I'm not the only one and I also know that getting cute, sexy, YOUNG bras and undies for em is the bain of many ladies existence!


I know nowadays, the search for pretty, big boobie bras is not as hard as it once was. Once upon a time (like when I was a teenager) if you were bigger than a D cup (which of course I was), your choices were black, white or nude (yippee for 17 year old me!!!! ANOTHER nude bra..........sing with me ladies...."I feel pretty, oh so pretty......NOT!!!!!), and fuller cup bra fashion has come a long way since then, BUT. along with choice has come a pretty hefty price tag!! I still drool over the super cute pieces a more petite bosomed lass can buy for under $20, while for us with an ample endowment. have to choke upwards of $80 just to break free of the Black/white/nude club.


I will admit places like kmart have included a cuter, affordable range to their full cup selection, but if I'm honest I like to call those bras "made for taking off" in the sense that they might look sexy and cute but in the way of support and being comfortable to wear all day, not so much.....so they are better put to use in situations where the aim of the game is to not be wearing them for very long (if ya know what I'm sayin???)

And then, one day in Big W, I stumbled across a range by KAYSER called Curve It Up, firstly it caught my attention with its super cute prints and colour palette, but to my delight, the discovery that it ranged up to a G cup made my heart (and my boobies) sing!! Assuming that it would be another "made for taking off" scenario, I toddled off to the fitting rooms anyway, and what I discovered SHOCKED me!!!

I tried on a 16F (if I'm honest I would prefer a 16G but the G cups only go to a 14 band for some reason?) and not only did it fit, it felt GREAT! It looked awesome as well so things were looking good.....now for the test, try a top on over it......you know when they can look super cute nude, but under clothes suddenly you look a bit deformed??......Top on.......PERFECT!! Was I dreaming this?????? Now for the matching undies..........MATCHING UNDIES!!!!! Can you believe it???!!! I tried a 16 and an 18 and I really think it depends on the fabric they are made out of as to what will fit, some of the mesh type ones aren't as stretchy as the silky ones and cut in a bit unless you upsize, but the fact is THEY HAVE THE NEXT SIZE UP AVAILABLE!!!!!! So for me, who cares what number is on the tag, providing that I can get a pair to fit I'm happy!

Now for the nitty gritty's.....

I buy this brand whenever I see a new print or design in Big W. With that said they don't always have my size, so I have played around a bit with "sister sizing" which, if I'm honest never really cuts it. If they don't have a 16F I've tried a 14G, which I can't close at the back and have to use a band extender until the band stretches enough to close, or I buy a 18F which is only good for the first couple of months and then the band is too loose to hold me up. The 16F is good....but a 16G would be GREAT!! So the answer is, yes, I tend to make do with a less than perfect fit, but for the super affordable price (around $20!!!), I'm cool with that!

The band is nice and wide, so makes for a lovely smooth back area, the cups are moulded, not padded, so create a lovely shape without making big boobs bigger. The underwire is strong and broad, giving great support and if the bra falls down anywhere it's the straps, they over stretch easily which encourages you to tighten them, which in turn can really cut in to your shoulders, BUT, they are dainty enough to wear under a strappy singlet without an obvious strap flash so pros vs cons ya know?

On the whole, are they the best quality bra on the market?.......no, but would you expect it to be for $20 bucks?? I know I don't! For the price, they are a great bra, that enables a gal like me to have a different bra for every outfit, without costing the national debt. They are comfortable to wear every day and look super cute, the matching undies are great size wise, but some of them have really sheer backs, which for me is a no no........ain't nobody wanna see my butt crack unless I'm naked!! But that is more to do with personal preference than anything else!

Try em out.........you won't be disappointed......and if you are, the worst thing that has happened is that you spent $20 bucks.......worth the gamble I say!! Check out their website

Another piece of the Jessi Leigh puzzle is that I teach. I LOVE to teach!!! I teach a class called ‘Glee’ to students aged 6-22 (split into different age groups of course!) and although primarily I teach singing and dancing, I like to think that below the surface, at the heart of what I do, I teach them how to be great people.

In an age where technology is un-escapable, I notice a great hole in the art of communication. In adults as well as children, we no longer pick up the phone to TALK to our friends and family, instead we TEXT. Now don’t get me wrong, texting is handy from time to time if you’re on the way home and need to check if we need milk, or want to send a quick I love you to someone special to let them know you are thinking of them, but as a primary form of communication, texting can be dangerous and also makes us lazy when it comes to human interaction.

I deal with all ages of children in many different aspects of my career, and it shocks and saddens me when a 17 year old young adult is not equipped with the skills to have a conversation with me about how they would like their hair cut. They grunt at their mothers from underneath their overgrown hair and expect mummy to speak to the scary hairdresser lady……….at 17!!!!!

The art of conversation is one that needs to be developed and nurtured from a young age, and in an age where the majority of our communication involves texts, pm’s, dm’s and emails, kids just aren’t learning how to TALK to one another.

In my classes, I teach CONFIDENCE. With confidence comes the ability to communicate, with communication comes HONESTY and with honesty comes a happy, healthy lifestyle.

Above a melodic singing voice, above great physical flexibility, perfect technique, or flashy acrobatic skills, my priority in my students is that they feel confident in their own skin. I strive to instil a feeling of pride within themselves in every class, and create an environment where students feel safe to ask questions, have conversation, not only with each other but with me.

This teaching gig is not just a one way street though……..I get just as much from them as they get from me. You see, a room full of 23, 6-12 year olds, don’t really care if you’ve had a bad day, nor should they, and I have found great strength in being able to put on a happy face in times of sadness in order to teach a great class. 45 minutes later, what seemed so devastating I couldn’t quite get out of bed, suddenly seems much less important when I am staring in the faces of 23 kids that have worked hard, sung their hearts out, and achieved new goals……more than that, feel proud of themselves and confident to take on new challenges.

I have SO MUCH LOVE for my students and what they have taught me about myself. I danced for most of my childhood and gave it away as an adult, for plenty of reasons, but mainly due to a dip in confidence…….through teaching them, I have rekindled my love affair with dance…….and the biggest thing I have learned, that I try to drill into them, is that to be a great performer, we don’t have to be THE BEST at EVERYTHING!! My weak spot was always elevation….I’m not a great jumper, which in turn meant a lot of the steps and turns and jumps that were focussed on when I danced, were really difficult for me……..BUT I was super flexible and animated and oozed personality when I danced, and these things are skills that other people struggle with…..we all have something DIFFERENT to be proud of, and I try to encourage my students to focus on the things they are GREAT at and not beat themselves up about the areas that still need work.

This method of teaching, has delivered me WONDERFUL results!!! I am met with determined, hardworking, excited students that are bursting with pride each week to show me the new hurdle they have overcome. Students that practice tirelessly outside of class in the playground at school, students that show up early for class every week to go over last week’s lesson, and students that stretch and practice every night at home to be able to increase their skills before their next class.

Although their ability to constantly improve their skills makes my heart sing, it’s their ability to approach me and SPEAK to me about what they have achieved that I am most thrilled with. Their lack of inhibition to TALK to me about how much they have practiced during the week, and eagerness to SHOW me their progress…….those are the moments when I know I’m doing my job!!

Have you ever had the feeling that you are doing EXACTLY what you were put on this Earth to do??
Well that’s how I feel about Pinup…………..I know that the whole ‘scene’ is super popular right now, and that’s great…..it keeps me in a job…….but once upon a time those obsessed with things from decades past, those that teamed red lipstick with false eyelashes IN PUBLIC, those that trawled op-shops for original glo-mesh clutches and nanna’s old girdles, were put on the FREAK shelf along with the Goth’s, emo’s and punks. Now we are awash with ‘Vintage Emporiums’ and ‘Retro Bazaars’, where you can pay through the nose for an old tea cup or save for a month to purchase a rotary telephone.

It hasn’t always been that way……… yet my love for the era from 1940 to 1969 has never wavered. I remember as a child, WISHING to dance in black and white movies, DREAMING of wearing red lipstick and fur, HOPING that one day I would grow up to be as glamorous as Judy Garland, as beautiful as Doris Day or as charming as Lucille Ball. I remember rather than reading magazines as a teenager, I much preferred to admire my grandmother’s old photo albums, meticulously studying the fashion, hairstyles and Make Up. I remember choosing the midday movie over cartoons, imagining myself as the leading lady opposite Gene Kelly or Elvis Presley. I would play my Grandfathers old Sammy Davis Jr records over and over, pretending I was one of his tap dancers, and put on shows in the lounge room to audiences of no one. My friends were not into such things, and I found myself struggle to fit in through my entire childhood and well into my teenage years.

For as long as I have been wearing Make Up (maybe 15 or 16 years old) I have worn black liquid winged eyeliner……ALWAYS. It was not in fashion then, and yet I saw it as the absolute image of beauty. People labelled me as ‘dramatic’ and ‘over the top’, yet I continued to do so…..it has just always felt RIGHT to me. As I grew older and into a career in Hair and Make Up, it was hard for me to comprehend that not everyone saw the beauty in vintage inspired styling, quite often I would have clients look at themselves in horror after I had transformed them into a Hollywood starlet of times past. It took me a long time to open my creative eyes to more modern styling and broaden my repertoire to include  ‘now’  looks and stay in touch with the latest trends. I developed quite a reputation for myself and became a Hair and Make Up specialist…..I enjoyed it…….I wasn’t unhappy…..but it didn’t make me sparkle.

I have always known that Pinup existed……..I just had absolutely NO idea of how to get involved. Before the internet it was almost impossible to buy clothing unless you came across a gem in Vinnie’s, and for a girl that grew up on the Mornington Peninsula and never left, the world of pinup seemed forever out of my reach. For my 21st birthday, I decided I would have a girlfriend take photographs of me for my party invitations. I spent the morning setting my hair and applying my make up, and had her take head shots of me wrapped in a white feather boa……I had them printed in black and white and created an invitation to resemble an old playbill featuring me as the star attraction……..I guess that was my first ever Pinup shoot…….I had never had photos of myself that I liked...........but I LOVED these.

It was a LONG time between those first photographs, and me actually taking the step to become a ‘Pinup’…..almost 10 years!! But my infatuation for such things never calmed. I never really enjoyed shopping….I would spend hours dragging myself through store after store, looking for things that simply did not exist…….so I taught myself to sew…….now I would go shopping for fabric and create beautiful circle dresses……and THAT was when my issues with body image disappeared…..instead of feeling wrong for not fitting into the fashions that were available in stores, I felt BEAUTIFUL and for the first time the BEST version of ME I could be!!

People noticed the change in me and I guess it just sparked a chain reaction…….the more positive feedback I received the more confident I became in my own ‘look’ and I just ran with it!! I also discovered that there was a market for my skills in vintage styling……there were other women out there JUST LIKE ME……..maybe not committed to supporting the look on a daily basis, but certainly desiring to step back in time for a day in front of the camera, and they needed MY help……all those years of watching old movies and studying my Grandmothers photographs were about to pay off!! No one my age in my industry knew victory rolls or pompadours or marcel wave sets like I did…..and if they knew what they were hey CERTAINLY had no idea of how to achieve them, add to that the fact that I am also a Make Up artist that has a broader repertoire than a ‘smoky eye’ with a ‘nude lip’ and all the ingredients were there…….I HAD to find a way to make a career out of this!!

It was as if by magic, right around the time I had made the decision to really crack this market, I came across an add on Gumtree of all places, seeking models to pose pinup for a photographer that was trying to establish herself as a Pinup Photographer. At first I contacted her to offer her my services in the line of styling……without the right hair and Make Up, a Pinup shoot is not a Pinup shoot……..one thing led to another and I ended up modelling for her…….well that was it!! From then on I KNEW that this is what I NEEDED to be doing……for the next year I established myself as a Pinup model and grew my reputation for my skills in Vintage styling……….and all of THAT has lead me to THIS…………………..I am a self-employed vintage Hair and Make Up specialist, who owns her own full service Salon…………WHO WOULDDA BELIEVED IT!!!!!! I honestly believe that when you allow yourself to do whatever it is that truly makes you sparkle, the powers that be will allow everything to fall into place as it should……..There is not a single thing in the UNIVERSE that I can imagine enjoying more than this……unless of course I could co-star opposite Elvis with Anne Margaret???!!!!!!

Photo Credits: Photography - Derrierre by JLP, HMUA - Jessi Leigh's Hair and Make Up Artistry, Wardrobe - Handmade creations by yours truly!